User blog:Fedora Lord Para 348/Death Battle Reviewed
Alright, so because I am interested in entering the realm of reviewing, I've decided to take one of my favorite internet shows, and painstakingly review every single episode of the long-running internet series. I'll try not to let the outcome of these fights affect me TOO much with how I feel about them, but we'll see how that goes. WARNING: Opinions! If you disagree with me on who would win a fight, feel free to debate me elsewhere. But this is about my thoughts on the fights, not on the outcomes. Also, spoilers. Anyway, let's begin at the beginning: Season 1! Season 1 Boba Fett VS Samus Aran Ah, what better way to start off Death Battle Reviewed, than the way Death Battle started? Going into this fight at the very beginning, I can only imagine what is going through someone's head. Before this episode, there weren't a lot of shows or really anything that would settle a fight anywhere outside of VS Debates, and those shows Ben Singer would talk about during Q&A's. So something like this was definitely pleasant to see, after taking note of its Deadliest Warrior-style judgment on who would win in a fight to the death. Now, this is a really spectacular way to begin a series, kind of. The idea of Boba Fett VS Samus is amazing! Two intergalactic bounty hunters, East VS West, hero VS anti-hero, video games VS movies, it's every single nerd debate in one. The characters are very well-known, but at the same time, this fight isn't very controversial. So the idea alone has a lot of merit as a starting idea. While it seemed like a really cool episode at the time, well... it's honestly very dated. The 2D animation seems choppy and slow, and the health bars are really out-of-place. Like, really really out-of-place. The analysis portions are also quite quick and don't have the jokes Wiz and Boomstick are known for, and the conclusion simply takes way too long to sit through. Research is lacking a bit, especially since they said Boba Fett is stronger and more durable than Samus even though he isn't by any stretch of the term, keep in mind that this is literally their first episode. And, they managed to get the fight correct anyway. But looking back... yeah, there's a really good reason Ben stopped animating fights. What score would I give this? Honestly, while the episode feels really dated now (even the analysis portion contains some spelling errors... whoops), there is nothing that can compare to seeing this show for the first time and wondering what the hell it is, and finding yourself wanting more. It's relatively inoffensive. So, I guess I'll give it a 6/10. But they can only get better from here, right? Well... why don't we see about that? Akuma VS Shang Tsung What can I say about Akuma VS Shang Tsung? When you take two of the most popular fighting games, Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat, and take two of the iconic villains from the franchise, and pit them against each other, you get this. And the result? Well... why don't we find out? Much like Boba Fett VS Samus, this fight feels... dated. The Wiz and Boomstick analyses are still quite short and lacking in the humor department aside from the joke about Akuma finger-painting, the fight itself feels slow and choppy, and the result is a bit of a pain to sit through. Once again, it just goes to show why Ben doesn't animate anymore - he was just never very good at it, and this is one of those reasons. Akuma is always a character who brings hype to a fight wherever he goes, but here... the hype doesn't feel quite as strong. Really, there's nothing I can say about this fight I can't also say about Boba Fett VS Samus. Except, this one likely wasn't quite as debated as the last one, so that initial excitement isn't really there either. There is an interesting segment involving Shang Tsung transforming into Scorpion and then Akuma, but other than that, it just kinda... falls flat. Akuma does indeed win, but... it's still not one he's likely to brag about. This fight is basically Samus VS Boba Fett all over again, without that sort of excitement. So I'm going to give it a 5/10. It's not terrible, and has a few good moments, but really, it's just... not their best. Rogue VS Wonder Woman Now THIS is the first instance of Death Battle doing something you'll quickly find they love to do - find some way to BS everything while keeping you under the impression that what you just saw was awesome. Spoiler alert: This fight is not awesome. Starting things off: The idea itself. Obviously this season didn't quite have a lot of fights commonly requested, or at least at first. First off, this episode wastes no time in telling us that this fight was mostly done for fanservice. Yes, Rogue and Wonder Woman are sexy comic book gals - now can we please move on? Once again, really quick and half-assed analyses with the only real jokes being Boomstick just being really creepy. Here's a hint, Boomstick - it's NOT endearing to talk about how much you would hold onto Miss Marvel. How about the fight itself? Again, it suffers from Ben's terrible animating. Choppy movements, boring fight scene, health bars- okay, if there's one thing I can commend this episode on, it's the removal of those goddamn health bars. That was something we needed since Boba Fett VS Samus. But then - then there's that Madoka-awful outcome that shows not only did they skip a bit of research, but also that they might have rigged things a bit in Rogue's favor. I could go on and on about how Wonder Woman could blink and the shock waves of her eyelids closing would tear off Rogue's flesh, but let me just put it to you this way: Wonder Woman once entered the Speed Force. Yes, that Speed Force. That should be enough to convince you that Wonder Woman legitimately wins this fight. If not, how about the fact that they conveniently robbed her of her sword and shield which she is almost never seen without, or ignored the fact that she has far less revealing outfits? This fight... it's honestly one of the worst offenders as far as research and outcome go, and literally nothing else besides the removal of the health bars is saving this episode. I would go ahead and give this episode a 1/10, but hey. No more health bars. So I'm giving Rogue VS Wonder Woman a 2/10. Haggar VS Zangief I'm guessing after Rogue VS Wonder Woman, Death Battle needed some way to veer themselves onto a track to make themselves not look biased. One way of doing that would be to express interest in one character, then make him lose his fight. And that one would take place in none other than Haggar VS Zangief. Starting things off... wow these analyses are short. Nothing new, really, but wow. These are basically a new low for short analyses. And, well... there's not really a semblance of a joke in there either. The animation, however, is probably the best up to this point, if Rogue VS Wonder Woman was the worst up to this point. At any given moment these manly men are wrestling, piledriving, and flinging things out the window as there's always quite a bit going on. There's even a gag with several objects and characters being flung out a window. I could complain about filler with that scene, but honestly? Compared to literally everything else seen on the show up to this point, this is pretty awesome. Especially the climax, because it is the only time up to this point where there is no hint as to who is about to claim victory, and it happens so abruptly and so quickly that if you blink, you will miss it. Now, as for research. Via scaling, it's easy to come up with Multi-City Block Zangief. Of course, as we will later find out, ScrewAttack kinda considers themselves too good for power scaling. However, Haggar has a feat that outclasses even Multi-City Block Zangief - piledriving someone through the Earth's crust. So, noble effort to appear unbiased, but ultimately the wrong conclusion. However, it's a relatively obscure feat, and this is literally their fourth episode (I'm not counting Goomba VS Koopa), so I don't really blame them that much. While the animation is good, the analyses aren't really anything special. However, I can give it a solid 6/10. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Battle Royale Alright, now this is an idea you need to gather up some friends for, so you guys can settle that debate you had in 4th grade once and for all. While you were adamant about Leonardo's leadership being his key to victory, your best friend was telling you that Raphael's tenacity would secure his victory, and your nerdy friend assured you that Donatello would take it via his smarts and long range, and your goofy friend who would eventually become a stoner who bummed pizza off of you guys was trying to convince you Michelangelo would steal victory under everyone's turtle-noses just by being unpredictable. And, then the analyses started. And... let's just say they were worse than Haggar VS Zangief's. The shortest analyses to date, with little to nothing about their backstory and just explaining their strongest traits as well as a bit about their weapons. And... this episode also demonstrates something else that Death Battle sadly loves to keep doing - being mean-spirited, specifically toward Michelangelo. In the cartoons and movies, Michelangelo never had problems with his nunchucks. In the analysis, Wiz made fun of Mikey for having the most complex weapons despite being the dumbest turtle. However... there was that one time... where Michelangelo defeated Raphael in a tournament. Hmm... kinda makes you think. Luckily, those painful analyses are also short. The battle, it's quite something. Again, their mean-spirited nature toward Michelangelo does not let up, as he's brutally sliced to pieces in only the first few seconds of the episode. There's a bit of repeated animation that gets a little tiring with Donatello hitting Raphael on the head, but it pulls a little bait-and-switch seconds after. Now, I am a sucker for bait-and-switch, whether played for comedy or for drama, or for outright intensity. And I think it worked really well here. Overkill on Donatello (which is something horrific for your nerd friend to see), which... well, let's just say Ben is REALLY a total masochist for actually deciding to animate that, and then the climax where Raph almost kills Leo, and Leo delivers one last stab. But then there's that face at the end, where Leonardo realized he just had to kill his brothers. That was not the face of a winner. It was that of a loser. Now, despite the animation being exciting, and the idea being one of their best, it loses out in several other regards. Again, the analyses are painful, and it's just WAY too mean-spirited toward Michelangelo and to a degree, Donatello. The result is accurate enough and makes enough sense, but there's one big thing at the end that's really going to bite this series in the ass later down the line, and I want you all to remember it. "And four; That whole movie doesn't make much sense to begin with. Why should this?" Just remember that quote and keep it in your heads. But really, still an early episode, and the fight was fun, at least. This one gets another 6/10. Zitz VS Leonardo Now, after the most unique and possibly the best episode of Death Battle up to this point, it really makes you wonder what Death Battle is going to do. Are they going to make a battle even better than that, and make this one a leap forward, or one giant step backward? For the most part... actually, it might be a decently-sized step forward. Starting things off, the analyses are... a bit better than the ones seen in the last episode. We actually learn quite a few things about Zitz, and since the Battletoads lore isn't that expansive and most people just know it as a really stupidly difficult game, looking deep into Zitz' character like this is probably some of the most in-depth we've ever gotten on the show. While there is almost no humor to be found in Zitz's analysis, it's still interesting to learn about a character whom many could assume doesn't have much to offer. Leo's analysis, however, does something a bit of the opposite. In the last episode, they covered his basic abilities, and in this one, they say there's a lot more to him. The only things new they add are a bit about him training under Splinter and the Ancient One, and a rather amusing segment where they discount the Ninjaken as a creation of Hollywood, and there's a pretty funny moment with Boomstick replying with "Like the moon landing!" and Wiz makes it even funnier with "Shut up!". In my opinion, this is probably the best joke ScrewAttack had made on the show up to this point. So after those analyses, we get into the fight. Which... well, it's not TMNT Battle Royale levels of exciting, but at the same time, it's at least better than Rogue VS Wonder Woman and Haggar VS Zangief. It just starts off with Leo trying to get a hit on Zitz and then Zits pummeling the crap out of him, and then after Leo discovers he won't win a basic fight, he jumps into the sewers as Zitz jumps in after him. Zitz can't find Leo and just fires off his most powerful attacks, and then Leo carefully skirts around him to deliver one fatal strike. You know, this is probably the best fight we've gotten up to this point. It features a location change, something we haven't gotten with the exception of Haggar VS Zangief. Even then, that wasn't until the killing blow. It also actually shows off the fighting styles of both characters quite nicely, and integrates the personalities of both. Ben's choppy animating returns, but it feels much more fluid here than in any episode up to this point. But now... the outcome. I don't know much about canon Battletoads, but if I recall correctly, the 'toads in canon don't stretch above Wall. They do have non-canon feats where they reach Planet and Massively Faster Than Light, but I'm pretty sure they didn't include that on purpose, or they just didn't know. So, for now I can buy Leo winning. Honestly, I find this episode incredibly underrated. Some funny jokes in the analyses, pretty in-depth in most of their abilities (well, compared to previous episodes), a fun battle with an excellent sense of character and pacing, and even a reasonable conclusion for the time. I'm gonna go ahead and give this one a 7/10. Yoshi VS Riptor Here we are, one of the very first Death Battles I watched. When I first saw the thumbnail, I had no clue what Killer Instinct was. I saw Yoshi in there, and I got rather terrified because I know what YouTube likes to do cute little creatures adored by everyone else. See, I grew up in a time where every single middle-schooler with an animation program and a YouTube channel would make a video entailing the torture of a cute animated character or creature while "Bodies" by Drowning Pool or some song by Linkin Park played in the background. It was... truly a stupid time to be alive. But anyway. I was seriously worried about this episode coming in, if for no other reason than that. However, it was Death Battle, and I knew that I had to watch every episode of this series. So I did. Starting things off, the Yoshi analysis. Damn, that Yoshi analysis. There's a seriously hilarious and rather dark joke about throwing Baby Mario in the dumpster, and Yoshi supposedly having no ears. Then it segways into Mario Party being the greatest death trap ever created. Wow, not even halfway through the analysis and already more jokes than any battle ever seen before. Oh yes, and then we get into one of the most infamous jokes made on the series - the baby launcher joke. See, regardless of whether you like dark humor or not, this is actually a pretty clever and kind of hilarious, actually, joke. "Boomstick! That's a terrible idea! Any time you'd want to reload, you'd have to wait nine months!" You know what, Boomstick is almost always the funny one. But the best jokes are the ones that Boomstick starts, and Wiz finishes. Like the moon landing joke in Zitz VS Leonardo. Now, the hilarious Yoshi analysis is finished off in a rather weak way, sadly. After nonstop hilarious jokes from both Wiz and Boomstick, we get a really predictable joke about Yoshi's gender. Come on, that's all stuff that we used to ask about on the playground. Oh well, at least there were no jokes about Mario abusing the guy. Then, Riptor's analysis. This one... honestly feels rather weak compared to Yoshi's analysis, with the exception of a single Jurassic Park reference that actually works in this battle's favor. However, the joke would be funnier if, you know... we actually knew anything about velociraptors. The problem is that no one actually knew how they hunted or acted, and everything depicted about them is just a theory. Yet Boomstick and Wiz talk about it as if it is cold, hard, indisputable fact. While Yoshi's analysis started strong and ended weak, Riptor's analysis started weak and ended strong. The joke about naming a velociraptor "Barney" after learning what irony was? That's another fantastic joke. See, going back to the whole "killing adorable characters and creatures in YouTube videos for fun" thing. Barney was always someone we used to joke about killing off brutally, often in demented ways. So this was something they could have easily turned into making a demented joke about Barney, but instead just left it to your imagination and made it honestly rather clever. One of the best jokes in the entire series, not just up to this point. So after two of the best analyses we've ever seen, onto the battle. Now, this one was a lot like Zitz VS Leonardo in the sense that we get to see the contrasting fighting styles of both characters, the personalities are shown off spectacularly, and the one who was getting curb-stomped at the beginning wins out in the end. However... compared to Zitz VS Leonardo, it just falls flat. I understand that sprites of Riptor that complement the Yoshi background don't exist and vice-versa, but it still looks really uncanny and choppy. The blood effects feel really out-of-place and gratuitous, but it ends on a hilarious note after Yoshi drops Riptor off a cliff and onto Boomstick's car. And that is exactly why I love this episode. It defied every single one of my expectations. I went in thinking Yoshi was going to get brutalized, and it definitely started off presenting itself that way. And then he didn't. The best part is that I've learned that Yoshi doesn't just stomp - he outright obliterates Riptor! So you know what, other than the animation (which you can really just blame on Ben), I'm gonna say this was a pretty good episode. It gets an 8/10 from me. Felicia VS Taokaka After the last two fights, Death Battle would have to show me something truly spectacular for me to completely be blown away again. Does Felicia VS Taokaka do that? Well... why don't we find out? Starting off, we lead with another creepy Boomstick joke, but this one works unlike in Rogue VS Wonder Woman. Why? Because Wiz calls him on it, and makes him feel creepy and perverted for making such a joke. Some info-dumping, and then Boomstick makes a joke comparing Felicia to Sonic, and then Wiz really kinda ruins this joke instead of making it better. By pointing out, "Yes, she's like Sonic!", he's explaining the joke. Something you do not do unless that's the point of your joke. Oh yeah, and then Boomstick comments on Felicia getting distracted by butterflies. For those of you who have seen this episode and remember it, you know why that turns out to be funny later. Now, for Taokaka's analysis. This one... is honestly worse. There's one semi-joke (I think?) about Felicia's claws tearing up a couch? And... that's it. Oh well, not every analysis can reach Yoshi VS Riptor levels. As for the battle itself, this one I can actually vouch for being one of the stronger battles up to this point. Why is this one so good? Because the two act like cats the entire fight, character-wise and fighting style-wise. It's actually pretty cleverly put together. Clawing, running, going for the eyes... it's all there. Then. Remember how I said that Felicia gets distracted by butterflies? Right in the middle of this fight, Felicia and Taokaka get distracted by a butterfly. In the midst of their brawl, they just jump around trying to catch the butterfly. And then Taokaka slices it in half, and Felicia goes berserk. See, one thing Death Battle sometimes does and I wish they would do more, is having a catalyst to escalate the fight. Usually the two escalate the fights on their own, but in this case, Taokaka presses what we call Felicia's "Berserk Button". Look that up on TV Tropes. But the short version, it's a trigger which makes a character go berserk. And that's exactly what Felicia does, pinning Taokaka to the ground and clawing at her face. This next part is really well put together and I think that it's one of the best moments in Death Battle history, simply for being subversive in an area where they themselves, and many other writers haven't been. The one who pressed the Berserk Button is the one who ended up winning in the end. See, Samus wasn't too happy when Boba Fett blew up her ship. She won in the end, though. Fox McCloud didn't take too kindly to Bucky O'Hare killing off Slippy Toad, and Bucky's the one who paid the price. I could go on and on, but basically, Taokaka is the one who pissed off Felicia, and in many cases Felicia would go on to win. But here, Taokaka still secured victory, and was never presented as being in the right for doing it. Pay attention to that, because way later down the line, that's going to be another frequent mistake of Death Battle. Honestly I'm on the fence on this one, simply because Taokaka is way faster but Felicia has a bit more destructive capability. In the end I'm going to say that this fight is probably correct as Taokaka's claws, if I recall correctly, can bypass durability if it's not too far out of her reach (don't quote me on that). So, no complaints there. In the end, I'm giving this one a 6/10. Could have been better, but it could have been much worse. Kratos VS Spawn Ah yes, I have been waiting to tear into this fight for a long time now. Starting this fight off, it has all the tools necessary to become a spectacular fight. Here's Kratos, a legendary and well-known video game character. Here's Spawn, a character less known but still relatively popular, and both characters are some of the biggest badasses in nerd culture. Both have slain gods far stronger than they are, and both have tragic backstories. As far as an idea goes, there's really no reason that this fight shouldn't be spectacular. Then there's this. "Of all the warriors who have entered this arena, none can compete with these two titans of death." Okay but never mind the fact that Samus Aran, Wonder Woman, and Composite!Yoshi all stomp Kratos and all of them could fight with Spawn on mostly-even ground if they wanted and Composite!Zitz would crush Kratos but okay. First things first, Kratos' analysis. Backstory dump, and then they try to give us a joke about Kratos saving money on divorce and child support. Uhh... I can understand the dark direction you're trying to go with this, but... for some reason, the joke just doesn't work here. It feels out of place and not fitting to Kratos at all. Wiz doesn't even follow it up, making it worse. Okay... moving on. Then info on his weapons (nice job leaving out the Medusa head; one of his best weapons!) and... a really predictable boob joke that had no one laughing. You know, the whole "obvious reasons" joke isn't really a joke, or even funny commentary. If you're going to make a boob joke, you have to not only turn what you're saying into a joke, but you need to make the boobs a joke too. Do you know why anime has so many jokes about boob-grabbing or about bouncing boobs? Because it's funny and comical. Predictable, but boobs are funny. This could have worked better if Boomstick said something like, "For at least two reasons!" or "There's a whole rack of reasons!". Yeah, they wouldn't be huge-boobed anime girl in distress because her boobs won't stop bouncing funny. But they'd at least be actual jokes. I mean, you could have had Boomstick say "Because boooooobs!" and it would have gotten a little bit of a laugh out of me. Think out your jokes, guys. After that painful Kratos analysis... how about that Spawn analysis? Well, more info-dumping until our first real joke - Spawn's healing factor saving him money on band-aids. I guess this joke is kind of amusing if you imagine Spawn covered in a whole bunch of band-aids, but the joke overall feels too safe to be funny. But it's at least funnier than Boomstick's boob "joke". Then there's a joke about Boomstick's grandma being God, which... is honestly, the funniest "joke" in this entire episode, and even that feels like a really "meh" joke. It got a bit of a chuckle out of me, but come on, Yoshi VS Riptor was two episodes ago, and that had me rolling! I'm sure they could have thought of funnier jokes than these! Sigh... then there's the battle. Okay, how does this one go? Alright, I need to be honest - this is the worst setup for a fight up to this point. Spawn just... teleports in front of Kratos, and they fight? In a really generic-looking castle area that looks like it was recycled from Akuma VS Shang Tsung? Erm... okay? Let's take a look at why this approach doesn't work. Boba Fett VS Samus Aran - Boba Fett is supposedly on a mission to hunt down Samus, and shoots her ship down. Understandable reason to fight. Akuma VS Shang Tsung - Shang Tsung appears behind Akuma, and Akuma assumes he's looking for a fight, and Shang Tsung probably assumes Akuma is trespassing. Weaker reason to fight, but it works. Rogue VS Wonder Woman - Uh... nothing, but this fight is terrible. Haggar VS Zangief - Manly men showing off. What else do you need? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Battle Royale - Sparring match gone horribly wrong? Zitz VS Leonardo - It wouldn't be a stretch for either to think that the other is just an everyday monster for the other to fight. Yoshi VS Riptor - Riptor is just a savage monster and Yoshi is protecting himself. Felicia VS Taokaka - I have seen cats fight, and honestly it makes a lot of sense why these two decided to attack each other. Kratos VS Spawn - Spawn appears, and Kratos wants to kill him? You know, there are a LOT of things you can do with this. Maybe Spawn sensed the negative energy coming from Kratos, or perhaps Spawn could have seen Kratos killing someone else and then decided to attack, or really anything other than just arbitrarily putting them in the same room and making them fight. It's lazy and feels forced. You know... like all "four" jokes in this episode. Does that mean that this entire fight is a joke? Because it certainly feels like it. You see, at any moment in this fight there's a lot going on. But Ben just does not have the animating skills to make this fight look enjoyable. You can't make out Kratos' or Spawn's weapons, and the animation just looks uncanny and choppy at any given moment. The sprites used for both aren't really that high-quality either, and you know, this whole fight segment would look really badass if it weren't for the weak animation, the blurry sprites, or the generic and boring background. The worst part? Kratos and Spawn have far more abilities than this, and they only chose to show off the ones in this episode. Hell, they even mentioned at least twice the amount of Spawn's abilities actually shown in the episode! Oh well, at least the end can be pretty good- And nope, Kratos stabs Spawn with the Blade of Olympus, and then there's a beat as it tries to pull a bait-and-switch on you. You know, this bait-and-switch does not work. Why not? They already mentioned in the analysis that you need to decapitate Spawn to kill him, so if the viewer was paying attention, he/she knows that Spawn isn't dead. Then he predictably outmaneuvers Kratos and delivers the most anticlimactic finisher to any Death Battle not just up to this point, but ever. Spawn just straight-up stabs Kratos in the head. Blood doesn't gush out or rain from his head, it just sorta... dribbles. I understand that Spawn kills his foes in subtle ways often, but... it just feels really unsatisfying and leaving us wanting more from this awful episode. People ask me, "What fight besides Samus VS Boba Fett needs remastering?". Without a doubt, it's this fight. Not even a question. The worst part? It gets worse. Boomstick's next line? "Aaahhhh, man - here's comes the rage from the God of War fanboys!" Ah. See, I'm not by any stretch a God of War fanboy. I don't even like Kratos a whole lot. But this line seems incredibly smug and mean-spirited. Spiteful, even. Yes, Spawn stomps. I fully agree with that notion. It's just, was this fight even done because they wanted to, or because they wanted to kill Kratos then laugh at the God of War fandom? You know, that question gains some validity when you consider the lackluster "jokes" and boring animation. See, people tell me that I only like the fights that are correct, and that I only dislike the fights that are incorrect. To that I say, "Hell no.". I agree with Kratos VS Spawn completely. It's one of the most completely correct fights of the season, or of the series. And at the same time, it's one of my most despised fight of the entire series. You know, I want them to redo this fight, maybe in 3D. Just because, a fight like this has zero reason to be as bad as it is. Especially since Yoshi VS Riptor was only two fights ago. I'm giving this fight a 1/10. Why am I ranking this lower than Rogue VS Wonder Woman? At least that fight got rid of the goddamn health bars and gave us our first girls-only fight. This fight did nothing new for the series. Rogue VS Wonder Woman is kind of a "meh" idea, and this one is an idea to get anyone pumped. Simply put, for all the potential this fight has, it gave us less than Rogue VS Wonder Woman. Just... fuck this fight. To be continued... Category:Blog posts